Gordisms...

 

Fred was in a tracing competition once...

But it ended in a draw.

Soccer isn’t as hands-on as other sports.

When I'm feeling sad I invest in the stock market.

I find it helps to have some company.

Fred finally bought his dream home.

Unfortunately it was a wet dream, and he had to call the plumber to fix it.

The difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, and the other is an IT standard.

Fred recently met a woman. They aren’t dating or anything, but they always get together for breakfast on Sundays.

They are friends with Benedicts.

If you steal someone’s heart..

Do you get cardiac arrested?

A threesome involves three people. A twosome involves two people.

That's why they call Fred handsome.

His waiter said they’re out of toothpicks…

Fred replied, "I’d like toothpick to the manager."

Why was corduroy popular in the 60s?

It's groovy.

There once were mermaids that enticed sailors to their doom, not with song, but with sounds of relaxation.

They were known as sighrens of the sea.

Fred had never tried drugs until recently.

But now he's up to speed.