Gordisms...

 

A vegetable and a fruit started hooking up.

They were friends with banana-fits.

Fred knows a handful of jokes in sign language.

As a joke, Fred shortened the rope used to fetch water in the local village.

It didn't go down well.

Fred's wife is addicted to French cheese.

He's getting her checked into Briehab.

Which profession sounds so much worse with a hard R?

Therapist.

Adolescence is the age between puberty and adultery.

Most of us like yeast bread, but some of us prefer sourdough or even soda bread.

I guess it's all down to how we're raised.

Life and beer are very similar...

Chill for best results.

There are five Great Lakes in North America.

But one is truly Superior.

Fred just got back from the hospital…

… and they think he might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsiliconiosis, but it's hard to say.

It's easier to watch films like Das Boot, The Hunt for Red October and U-571 if you're hard of hearing because they're all sub-titled.

Fred the mailman had a sex change.

He's a post-man now.

A better name for the tiny text that appears at the bottom of the screen in movies?

Subtle titles.