Gordisms...

 

Fred randomly yells out broccoli and cauliflower during the day.
He has Floret's syndrome.

 

If California falls into the ocean...
it'll be San Andreas' fault.

 

Fred caught his neighbour stealing socks from his clothes line.
He was going to confront him, but he got cold feet.

 

I told my wife that I invented a new name for a steep cliff.
She knew it was just a bluff.

 

Snipers have the best understanding.
They can see the full scope of things.

 

Fred's deaf wife left him for a deaf man.
He should have seen the signs.

What do you call a crappy copy of a famous work of art?
Artifecal.

 

Fred finally perfected his broth recipe.
It's souperior.

 

Fred and a friend got arrested, Fred stole batteries and the friend took fireworks..
Fred was charged and his friend got let off.

 

Someone asked me what the French phrase je ne sais quoi meant.

I told them that it's something I can't explain.

 

I have a cancel culture joke but it's banned.

 

The vice president at the bank noted that women without principle draw plenty of interest.