Gordisms...

 

What did the shepherd say to his dog?
Let's get the flock outta here.

 

My wife said not to be too upset if someone calls me fat.
You’re much bigger than that.

 

Ghengis Khan conquered central Asia steppe by steppe.

 

I bought some halloween corn on sale.

It was called corn on the macabre.

 

Fred went to jail for robbing that furniture store.
He was cot stealing.

 

If you plant a bunch of trees in an empty field...
Is that a meadow morphosis

The super hero who ruins everyone's mood with his  morose attitude?
The Incredible Sulk.

 

Fred yelled "Hey man, get away from the back of my boat".

It was a stern warning.

 

Fred is having all sorts of problems trying to put together bunk beds bought from Ikea.
It's just one thing on top of another.

 

I have a joke about eczema that I’m just itching to tell.

 

My therapist just refuses to accept that I am not in denial.

 

I avoid clichés like the plague, with every fiber of my being.