Gordisms...

There’s a contest going on at the cemetery.
You only have to be interred to win.

 

Fred admitted to being a fan of vampires.
I said, "That must really suck."

 

Humans were once able to understand ravens and crows, but no longer.

Nobody knows the caws.

 

Have you heard about almonds and soy?
They make a milk, like no udder.

 

Fred dissolved a Viagra in his mouth just to see what would happen and didn't get an erection.
But he did tell a few people some hard truths.

 

Garbage men think they are so tough, but all they do is talk trash.

A group of Jewish orthopedic surgeons?
Orthodox ortho docs.

 

Fred just bought a yacht at a very good price.
Turns out it was a sale-boat.

 

The difference between a narcissist and a flying pig?
The letter f.

 

You know you are old when you can't enjoy your Alpha-Bits without reading glasses.

 

Fred is a mime so I always have to speak up for him.

 

Fred can't remember anything about the last time he visited the chiropractor..
Yet it was only a week back.