Gordisms...

Last night the server filled Fred's water glass and said "This is still water"
Fred said "Apparently you're not Jesus".

 

Do cowboys roll joints or just tumble weed?

 

People were angry when Fred rode a horse without a saddle.
He didn't expect it to stirrup so much controversy.

 

A lonesome fisherman decided to use his internet instead of a regular fishing net.
All he caught were catfish.

 

Marine scientists have crossed an Electric Eel with a Sea Sponge
It’s called a Shock Absorber

 

I need a power strip to plug stuff into.

Should I go to an Outlet Mall? 

Fred saw an elephant with a short nose the other day.
It was truncated.

 

An acorn; “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree”.

 

How do you milk sheep?
Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1500 for it.

 

There’s a new “Door Dash” type service for cocaine.
It’s called “Insta Gram.”

 

Fred is a landlord and had to go to some special therapy sessions.

Turns out he had an apartment complex.

 

Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume at the convent...
...she wouldn't tolerate such nun scents.