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 Fred's furniture goes back to Louis the 14th.

That is, unless he pays Louis by the 13th.




 

Fred said that his group photo was doctored.

A guy in the back row had a stethoscope around his neck.

 

I found out I have an albino doppelganger
Sadly it's just a pale imitation.

 

What do you call leftover treasure?
Resid-jewels.

 

Fred's childhood home had five foot ceilings.

When he grew up he couldn't stand living there.

 

NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to the aliens.
They are calling it Apollo G.


Fred's oldest boy insulted him while they were at the beach
It was a bad son burn.

 

I forced myself to stop going to the bank
Now I’m suffering withdrawals

 

I wanted to know why galvanization of metal takes so long.
I am steel reading about it, but I think it's about to zinc in.

 

Some say  that J.R.R. Tolkein was never truthful, and that he was an hobbitual liar.

 

Fred went to see a psychic and she was in a bad mood, then he saw a clairvoyant who was rather grumpy.
One day he’ll find a happy medium.

 

Fred nearly choked while eating a chocolate eclair
He had bitten off more than he could choux.

 


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