An exotic dancer hurt herself dancing.

The doctor told her she'd be back at twerk in no time.

 

When Fred hopped on the treadmill at the gym everyone started to look at him funny.
So he started running instead.

 

The Oscar Mayer wienermobile was in the wurst accident ever yesterday...
People never Sausage a mess.

 

We tried to start a dairy farm but the cows couldn't produce milk
It was an udder failure

 

I’ve decided to start collecting records
That’s my decision, and it’s vinyl

 

Fred documented the whole experience having problems with Erectile Dysfunction....
He will publish it as an autoviagraphy

A clockwork toy walks into a bar...
He has a few drinks, breaks down in sobs and says "How did I wind up here?!"

 

Fred came across a secret document at work that had nothing but swear words in it.
It contained insensitive information.

 

Scientists have developed a breed of transparent cattle. Unfortunately, they’re super aggressive.
Steer clear.

 

A pair of identical twins died in a car crash.

They were buried in the local symmetry.

 

Fred went birdwatching with Sinead O’Connor before she was famous
They saw seven owls and sixteen jays.

 

Fred punched a driver for pulling into the bike lane.
He’s a bit of a cycle-path.



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