Fred's wife says he's the cheapest S.o.B. on the planet.

He's not buying it.

 

Scientists have discovered a new type of sophisticated bacteria.
They’re very cultured.

 

I reheated the shawarma.
It became shawarmer.

 

Fred hurt his foot while using his pickaxe.

It's a miner injury.

 

If I'm annoyed and you're annoyed does that make us a paranoid?

 

It's ironic that people are now smoking joints to get rid of joint pain.


I like song lyrics that make their way into everyday conversations.
I don't know why. That's just the way it is. Some things will never change.

 

Ranchers hate leaves because they're always rustling.

 

The Colorado River could run dry unless water usage is reduced, and the biggest use is growing cattle feed.
The issue is really raising the steaks

 

The baseball player without a team had to strike out on his own.

 

Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal…
…Until the pressure got to him.

 

Why is it called the Mall?
Because instead of going to one store you go to them all




 

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