Gordisms...

 

Pigeons have taken over the government...
It's being called the 'coo of the century".

 

I walked past a playground and heard some tunes playing.

It was swing music.

 

Fred bought his wife a lamp in the shape of a Pepsi bottle
She was soda lighted.

 

The comic told a lot of jokes about sewing.

He had the audience in stitches.

 

Is it true that "an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"
Or is it one of Granny's myths?

 

Rehab is for quitters.

Amazon has a new dating site.
It's called Prime Mates

 

If a donkey had wings would it be a bird of bray?

 

It seems strange that the coffee club was giving out t-shirts.

 

Fred and his wife got divorced and decided to split the house.
He got the outside.

 

Anything recommended by a stoned person is highly recommended.

 

I find that what always floats my boat is the concept of buoyancy.