Gordisms...

 

I bought a fake bucket today.
It was a pail imitation.

 

Fred invented a new herb-flavoured cookie.
It’s called the Oreo-gano

 

If you have to cancel your scheduled visit with the doctor...
does that make it a disappointment?

 

A chronic pancake thief would be a crepe-tomaniac.

 

What do you call an Irish IT technician
Turner O'Finonagáin

 

What do you call it when you accidentally buy the wrong salad dressing?
Balsamic Vinaregret

It’s not hard to meet expenses.
They’re everywhere.

 

The sheep farmer had a flock of rams.

They were completely ewesless.

 

I read a story about sand.

It was pretty gritty.

 

It seems unjust that the stamp forger was jailed for forging stamps...
Because, after all, imitation is the sincerest form of philately.

 

Fred went to a barbecue social the other day.
It was a meat and greet.

 

It's hard being married to a mime. You never know when you're getting the silent treatment