If prisoners could take their own mug shots…

They’d be called cellfies.

 

Walden Pond was a comprehensive book because the author was so Thoreau.

 

You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.
But, you can halve your cake and eat it two.

 

Fred contacted hislawyer about walking in on his wife cheating on him.
His lawyer said it was affair observation.

 

The patron saint of forwarded email?
St Francis of a CC

 

I didn't know it was national awareness week.

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.


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