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 Fred had dyslexia and a terrible voice. Where did he move?

PoreSinga

 

Wife: “Why do you keep buying vinyl?”
Fred: “Records are….always a sound purchase.”

 

Fred. the retiring birdkeeper, reflected on his 30-year career
"Don't live your life full of egrets", he said.

 

A detective who solves cases accidentally?
Sheer Luck Holmes.

 

Why does a white TicTac make your breath smell good?
Because that's what it's mint to do.

 

I’ve been trying to start a sarcasm club,
but it’s been really hard to tell if people are interested in joining or not.

 

Someone just called my phone, sneezed, and then hung up...

I hate cold calls.

 

My wife says I’m obsessed with alliteration, she says some seriously stupid shit sometimes.



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