thursday gordisms....

 Fred's wife says he snores.

But he prefers to be called a sound sleeper.

 

There's one thing I just can't deal with...
...and that's a deck of cards glued together.

 

Potatoes make good detectives because they keep their eyes peeled.

 

Do evil chickens lay deviled eggs?

 

I love watching programmes about lakes and rivers on the Internet.
I'm actually watching a live stream right now.

 

What do donut shops and funeral homes have in common?
They are mostly for mourning people.

 

Everybody told Fred that if his wife got weight loss surgery that she would leave him, but he didn’t believe them.
But now every day he sees less and less of her.

 

Due to inflation, the high five has slumped to a simple middle finger.