Beginning of the work week gordisms....

 

Fred wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs.
It's a step by step guide

I can always tell when someone is lying just by looking at them...
I can tell when they're standing too.

Fred ate an entire feather pillow last week
Since then He's been feeling down in the dumps.

Jeff Bezos may be richer than all of us
But he still puts his pyjamazon one leg at a time

My winter hand coverings don't always keep my hands warm.

They work intermittenly.

What kind of noise does a train make?
A low commotion.

If you want a job in the hand lotion industry, the key is to apply every day.

Fred figures that he has a really nice butt, because every time he turns around he hears people whisper, "What an ass!"