saturday afternoon gordies....

Fred was having doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all his valuables.
Turns out..it was a safe purchase.

 

Every time I drink food coloring...
I dye a little inside.

 

I can't stand being around pulleys...
They are always the center of a tension.

 

None of Fred's kids will tell him who left the milk to freeze in the back of the fridge…..
He's on the hunt for a cereal chiller.

 

Fred's wife is leaving him due to his obsession with Star Wars.
I said to him, "may divorce be with you."

 

Is a plateau the highest form of flattery?

 

The way "colonel" is pronounced is balogna.

 

When Fred was young, he KNEW that he was going somewhere!
Now he realizes that "somewhere" is his recliner chair.