I used to hate those Russian dolls because they were so full of themselves
I'm fine with them now though, once I gave them a chance they really opened up.

 

Fred and his wife went to a couples counseling seminar recently.
The speaker mentioned that 85% of couples are so disconnected the husband doesn't even know his wife's favorite flower. Fred leaned over to  his wife and said
"It's self-raising, isn't it?"

 

I have a friend who is really good at working with spreadsheets.
Some might say he Excels at it.

 

My wife took apart all my Lego sets and mixed them all together...
I'm not sure what to make of it.

 

Have you heard that new band, Platinum?
It's pretty metal

 

After circling in the sky for hours do eagles have soar wings?

 

Fred  became a judge so that he could outlaw margarine.
He wanted to make the world a butter place

 

 Fred used to sing to God before realising that he's wasting his time with hymn

 

My main stream music knowledge is so poor I thought Kanye West was a railway station and Lana Del Rey a holiday destination.

 


 

 


 

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