Gordisms...

If you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why.

 

I tried to explain something to my friend using a metaphor about shallow, coastal waters
Didn't work. He took it littorally

 

What do you call a young man who demands to have costume jewelry immediately?
A rhinestone-now boy.

 

What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhea?
Incontinental

 

The best smelling insect?
A deodor-ant.

 

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.

 

The only time I’m someone’s type is when I’m donating blood.

 

Fred's boss always laughed at his jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. He asked her why she doesn't laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."

 

Which kind of berry should you stay away from?

rob-berry

 

Male porn stars are some of the best employees.
They’re always working hard.