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Whoever stole my highlighter, I’ll find you, mark my words!

 

Where do bad rainbows go?
Prism. (I hear it's a light sentence, though)

 

It's easy to fall in love with a taser if it hits you
They really are quite stunning

 

What kind of guns do gorillas use?
Ape-K-47's

 

I've managed to create a lightbulb powered only by wordplays.
Now I have a socket full of punshine.

 

How to kill vegetarian vampire?
Just with a steak to the heart.

 

I have a small pet lizard. I named him "Tiny" because he is my newt.

 

When Fred and his wife and I disagree about something, they sit down and talk it through like adults...
...and then they agree that she was absolutely right.

 

What do you call a kinky geologist?
A masoschist.

 

What do you call carving a pumpkin in September?
Premature ejackolantern

 

 

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