mid week gordisms....

 

Whoever stole my identity, who the hell do you think you are?

 

Dubai spent billions on a bunch of man-made islands and they are now sinking.
I guess all the money in the world can't help erect-isle dysfunction

 

Your call is very important to us.
So please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo.

 

Fred hired a handy man and gave him a list of six things to do.
When Fred got home, only #1, 3 & 5 were done. Turns out, he only does odd jobs.

 

What is the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
Well, ones weasel-y identifiable, and the other one's stoat-ally different

 

To the person who stole my place in the queue, I’m after you now.

 

My understanding of Parkinson’s is a bit shaky.

 

There's a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language.
We call him the Village Idiom.

 

What do you call a geometry teacher with multiple wives?
A Polygonist

 

Fred's mathematician girlfriend broke up with him.
She said something just wasn't adding up