great sunday gordisms.....

 

Whoever stole my shower, it’s time to come clean

 

If you're ever feeling down...
Just remember, you're probably closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

 

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them
I can also tell if they are standing

 

Two friends pooled money to buy a wind instrument
They're now in a same-sax relationship

 

Fred is only attracted to strong intelligent females around his own age, and any females younger than that.

 

Would a burglar who dressed as a dead singer/song-writer who played guitar be a Prince of thieves or a Petty criminal?

 

What two planes did the Germans fear most in WW2?
Thunderbolt and Lightning. Very, very frightening.

 

To whoever stole my cow….
My beef is with you, sir!