Fred's wife said, "If you don't quit drinking, I'll leave you."
He never expected to hear two bits of good news in one day.
The biggest lie ever?
"I have read and agree to the terms and conditions of use"
What does a frog use to conceal itself?
A croaking device.
When Richard Nixon was elected president
The American people did a collective Dick pick.
It's quite ironic that "strap on" backwards,
spells 'no parts'.
I watched a documentary about sailing and rope... it had me
in knots
Fred's boss calls him "the computer".
Nothing to do with intelligence, Fred goes to sleep if left unattended for 15
minutes.
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