A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.

It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

 

What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a cook?
A Sue Chef.

 

Fred's wife is a deeply religious cook...
Everything she makes is either a burnt offering or a sacrifice.

 

To people who can't distinguish between etymology and entomology:
You bug me in ways I can't put into words

 

Did you hear about the flirtatious philosopher?
He was such a Socratease.

 

What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.

 

The computers went down at Fred's work today, so he had to do everything manually
I took him 20 minutes just to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.

 

The preferred pronouns of a chocolate bar would be her/she.

 

98% of all Ladas ever made are still on the road today, and the other 2% made it home.

 

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