hilarious but true....from mel
You DO NOT have to be a Newfie to truly appreciate this.
Actual letter from A Newfoundlander-renewing
passport. A must read.
"Truer words were never written."
This, apparently is an actual letter received by
the Canadian Passport Office, from an irate Newfoundlander attempting to renew
his passport.
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Bell-Alliant has my address and telephone number and knows that
I bought a friggin satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Canadian
Government is still asking me where I was friggin born and on what date.
Do you guys do this by
hand? My birth date you have on my pension checks, and it is on all the income
tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years.
It is on my Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on
the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration
forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30
years, and all those insufferable census forms.
Would somebody please
take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's
name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now
and when I die !!
I apologize, I'm really
pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this!
You send the application
to my house, then you ask me for my address !!
What is going on? Do you
have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture.
Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for sh*t sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on somesandy beach
somewhere.
And would someone please
tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on
visiting a farm in the next 15 days?
If I ever got the urge to
do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last
people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now,
'cause I have to go to the other end of the friggin city to get another copy of
my birth certificate,to the tune of $35. Would it be so complicated to have all
the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the
same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be
too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the
place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to
confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're
not allowed to smile?!
(bureaucratic morons)
Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally
pissed off!
Signed
An Irate Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm
that it's me?
Well, my family has been in Newfoundland since 1497 and I've been a Canadian
Citizen since 1949 ..........
I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full
security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly
secretive missions all over the world.
......However, I have to get someone 'important'
to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor –
Comments
Post a Comment