gordisms....

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What do you call an old snowman?
Water.

 

How does punctuation learn to be intimate?
By reading the Comma Sutra.

 

Fred quit his job as a treadmill tester
He just felt like he wasn’t going anywhere.

 

Aladdin was banned from the magic carpet race
He was caught using performance enhancing rugs

 

Someone has glued my pack of cards together...
I don't know how to deal with it.

 

Fred lost his job at the bank today.
He's gotta let his wife know, but doesn't know how to teller.

 

The zookeeper gave all the pandas phones
They were going crazy! It was Pandaphonium

 

69% of people find something suggestive in every sentence.

 

I wonder how many calories I burn when I run away from my problems.

 

I’m writing a book about reverse psychology
Please don’t buy it...

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