gordisms...

 

What insect is considered religious?
A mosque-ito

When you're playing midget limbo, you're setting the bar real low.

 

Went for a job interview today, at IKEA. The manager said
“Come in, make a seat”

 

The man who invented the Ferris wheel desperately wanted to meet the person who invented the Merry Go Round.
Unfortunately they travelled in different circles.

 

I bought an antique mirror...
Because I want to reflect upon the past

 

Having insomnia is terrible.
But on the plus side, only three more sleeps till Christmas.

 

What's the difference between a mime and a rock?
One's a little timid, one's a little boulder.

People are so desperate for employees now
That the sign say long haired freaky people please apply

 

I was given LSD and MDMA last night
What a lousy start to a game of Scrabble

 

What happens when a cow goes out into a field in the summer?
It becomes pasturized

 

I've started a correspondence course, "How to deal with life's disappointments?"
I got the first lesson by post today. It was an empty envelope.

 

Just got back from the doctors. Been diagnosed with Tinnitus.
Not sure I like the sound of that .