gordisms....

 

Fred bought the love of his life some fish from Washington, but she dumped him immediately afterwards.
Oh well he thought, there's plenty more fish in DC.

 

I have emotional constipation
Haven't given a crap in days.

 

Brutalist architecture might become popular, but nothing is set in concrete yet.

 

If you think that your microwave collecting data and the TV spying on you is bad enough...
the vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years...

 

I had a spiritual awakening at the dentist...
It was a trance and dental experience.

 

Why is pride month in the summer?
Because pride goeth before the fall.

 

What did the rockstar say when he told his son to finish the yardwork?
Rake on through to the other side