gordisms.....

 

A frustrated student handed in his exam.
"I've been writing for two hours, yet I haven't answered a single question!" he complained.
"Well done, that's a straight A." replied the Politics Teacher.

 

The sound of glass breaking is pane-ful.

 

I don't know why I love puns so much.
It's just how eye roll.

 

Germany and the USA are so different
When you say 911 one thinks car and the other thinks plane

 

Birthday gifts are rewards for not dying this year.

 

A good sign for a strip club during the daytime is: Sorry, we're clothed.

 

Do heavy metal bands have lead guitars ?

 

My Chemistry Teacher always told me that sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..it was an oxidant waiting to happen.

 

My friend works as a captain on a container vessel that transports nylon stockings.
He runs a tights ship.

 

You gotta hand it to short people...
Cause they can't reach it

 

After watching Bohemian Rhapsody twice in a row, I feel a little sick.
Too much Mercury content.