a bevy of gordisms...

 Why are the Thai so rebellious?

They have that Phuket attitude

 

Fred was an alcoholic who wanted to be a lawyer.
But he could never pass the bar.

 

I never finish anything...
I have a black belt in partial arts.

 

What kind of people never get angry?
Nomads

 

Have you heard about the depressed dude that drank so much mexican liquor that he almost died?
Tried tequila himself.

 

My wife keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter.
But I'm on a roll now.

 

Fred always wanted to learn how to juggle.
But he has never had the balls to do it.

Fred used to date a Welsh girl with 32 D's.
It was a ridiculously long name.

 

What soda do you drink when you have a big backlog of work ?
Mountain Due

 

I have a friend who is a prominent geologist, but outside of work, he's very lazy and inactive.
He lives a sedimentary lifestyle

 

Initially, I despised stay at home orders, but now I love it!
I think it’s Stuck-home Syndrome

 

If pigs could fly, bacon would be leaner.

 

Some people say their hair turned blonde from the sun. Mine turned gray

 

In ancient times people were forced to work and it was known as slavery ...
... And now it's just called employment