some great puns and a great joke from gord....

 On this day in 1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the first telephone call and moments later he found out his air ducts needed cleaning.

 

What do you call a frozen dinner that's average at best?
Mean cuisine

 

Never call the tinnitus helpline.
It just rings and rings.

 

I was going to tell you a scary rumour I heard about margarine...
Then I thought, butter not, you might spread it...

 

A Norwegian fell down a canyon.
It was a Fjordian slip.

 

Outlaw wildebeests are nothing but bad gnus

 

What was the epileptic chef's special menu item?
Seizure Salad.

 

I went to a wedding where the groom was left at the altar.
It went off without a hitch