hilarious puns by gord....

 

If the husband is the head of the family, then the wife is...
The neck. Because she can turn the head anywhere.

 

What do you call a bed pan in Russia?
A poo-tin.

 

Yesterday I got stuck in a hall of mirrors
It was a day of reflection

 

I fell asleep reading old magazines and woke up with back issues.

 

Bananas are one of the most popular fruits because they have a peel.

 

If you're having money problems, just spend all you have, then you have no money problem

 

I used to date a stewardess from Helsinki
I dropped her off at work one day and she vanished into Finnair

 

Fred likes to jog in place on the rug in his hall.
He’s a carpet runner.

 

The farmer's wife took off with a tractor salesman.
Left him with a John Deere letter

 

paleontologist: a person who studies albinos