from mel and gord.....

 Just Got bronze in the National Tanning Champion

My uncle Jerry invented the cold air balloon but it never really took off.

 
I've written a book on how to cut onions.  Read it and weep...

       

Apparently, anger management courses are all the rage...
 
Sadly my Origami business folded this morning.
 
"My dog's learning to speak a foreign language." "Español?" "No, he's a Labrador."
 
 
Sony, Panasonic, JVC, they are all just stereotypes
 
Just heard that the local prosthetics shop is changing hands!

I bought audiobook version of Encyclopedia Britannica

It speaks volumes to me

 

A majority of those arrested after the insurrection have been linked to a document describing rape, murder, and apocalypse.
It's called the Bible.

 

Did you hear about the mail-order surgery kit you can have delivered straight to your door?
It's called Suture Self.

Even after 50 years people still don't know who Neil Armstrong is or what type of trumpet he played.

 I hear that it's easier to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods but it's harder to deter gents.