crotchety ruv

 

  Vampires hate gambling. They can't handle the stakes. There was a large altercation at a nudist camp. Police had never seen such naked aggression. I tried to fix my broken pencil. It was pointless. Fred quit his job as a lawyer to become a dog breeder. It turns out... He prefers Boxers over Briefs

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from vince...  

  A cocaine addict just snorted his grandmother's ashes. Apparently it was half a gram. Fred's family gave him plasticine for Christmas. He doesn't know what to make of it. Fred didn’t get any Christmas gifts, but says that’s OK, he can just imagine them. He has good presents of mind. How does a butcher's convention start? With a meat and greet . Fred woke up this morning with a tap on his door. He had hired the world's worst plumber. Comatose: a bad case of your foot being asleep. What do you get if you put "The Sound of Music" in the Star Wars galaxy? Don't do it. It's a von Trapp. Fred knew he had a weight problem after eating his family’s entire dinner straight out of the pan. That’s when he hit wok bottom.