crotchety ruv

 

  Fred spent hours and hours trying to fix his washing machine. Eventually he decided it was time to throw the towel in. The saddest dog? Melancollie. Fred is a make up artist. Never believe what he tells you. I met my new neighbour named Jack Riddle. I was puzzled by his name.

 

 

A new store  is selling perfume that smells like nothing. If you ask me it’s non-scents. I told my wife I would go a whole day without making furniture puns… Sofa, so good. Fred was visiting a family member at the psychiatric hospital and was asked to leave for being insensitive. Apparently the corridor leading to the patient's rooms is called a hallway, not a psycho path. Drinking can cause memory loss. Or even worse, memory loss. Trump likes to think he is a visionary like Steve Jobs. But that’s like comparing Apple to orange.

 

 

  I didn’t know my friend had a false tooth until it came out in conversation. Fred recently found out he's not really lactose intolerant. It was a real come to cheeses moment. Fred's therapist raised prices. He called it shrink-flation. Fred's wife wore an fancy dress covered in small, shiny disks to a gala. Then she wore it to a concert, a wedding,and a festival. Extraordinary sequins of events. Just before sweet potatoes are mashed, they become very quiet. This is known as "the silence of the yams". I hate when people call me average. That's just mean. The vet told Fred that his young dog needed to lose weight. It was a little husky, The advantages of easy origami are two-fold. Someone should tell RFK, Jr. that all the chemicals his FDA will take out of foods, someone at Trump's EPA is going to let corporations put it in our water. Elevator is broken, sorry for the inconveyance.