crotchety ruv

 

  I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas... but they usually go over people’s heads. Don't like Alexa listening in on your conversations? Try Alex the male version... it doesn't listen to anything. I woke up today laughing. I think I slept funny. If I buy a bigger bed, will I have more or less bedroom?

 

 

 

  What did the deaf person say after his winning bid at the auction? I’ve won…but at what cost? Proctologists would make the best fugitive hunters. They always get you in the end. They have made 7 Mission Impossible movies and succeeded every single time. Shouldn’t it be called Mission Very Very Likely by now? Fred found his coffee mug shattered. Must have happened on break. Fred's wife was asking him what sorts of greens he put in the salad. He wasn't expecting the spinach inquisition.

 

 

  Fred wanted to try Viagra, so he asked the pharmacist if he could get it over the the counter, Pharmacist said "Yeah if you take 2 or 3". Fred found a snake on his car. It was a windshield viper. In Germany, I saw a man with a toddler that just wouldn’t stop yelling and screaming. To keep him quiet I suggested he give him a sausage, but it only made the brat worse. Fred watched a fascinating documentary about the perfume industry last night. It was on the History Chanel.