crotchety ruv

 

  Fred found an audio book to learn sign language. It’s in Audible. Trump never brings his clubs with him to Cancun. I guess he just doesn’t like the golf of Mexico. Raccoons that break into cybertrucks are disappointed that the only garbage inside is the driver. Fred bought an unusually long and narrow house – his wife likes the kitchen but he's in it for the long hall. I knew it was genuine French onion soup because it made fun of my accent and corrected my use of the subjunctive.

 

 

 

  If you can think of a better fish pun… …let minnow. Fred learned how to do drugs in school. It was high school. I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet. Fred couldn’t find any bouillon cubes in the supermarket. Apparently they’re out of stock. Fred listened to his wife's audiobook, but accidentally deleted it halfway through... Now he’ll never hear the end of it.

 

 

  The country with the best street food? Eat-alley. Old McDonald went to the plus-sized dress store with his wife. There was a muumuu here and a muumuu there. Fred was the first to hear about a new ice cream shop. He got an early scoop. A man with a seagull on his shoulder? Cliff. Fred went for a walk, even though his leg was hurting. He was really going out on a limp.