crotchety ruv

   

  My favourite breakfast? Puncakes. Running into a stationary object can be painful. According to a recent pole. "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Fred said dolefully. "I keep shocking myself," said Fred, revolted.

 

 

  Scientists created a green-striped dog by splicing it's genes with watermelon. When asked why it looked depressed they said: It's a meloncollie. Fred said that his ex wife is a pirate's worst nightmare. A sunken chest with no booty. Fred took a trip down an iron mine to give a pep talk to all the rocks down there. It was… Ore-inspiring. It was difficult for Thor and Odin to communicate over long distances. That’s why they used Norse code.

 

  There was a guy named Cliff in our neighbourhood. His friends were always going over and hanging around. What do drummers drink? Beet juice. My phone just recorded five minutes of my feet walking around. But I got some great footage. Where do poets go to find inspiration? The muse-um.

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